Two-thousand six-hundred nine (2609) weeks. One-million ninety-five thousand seven-hundred eighty (1,095,780) hours. Sixty-five million seven- hundred forty-six thousand eight-hundred (65,746,800) minutes. Eighteen-thousand two-hundred sixty-three (18,263) days. One-half century. At approximately 3pm MDT on Saturday 31 May, these numbers indicate how much time has has elapsed since my presence on this planet began as an independent living being. Crossing this milestone is an opportune time for reflection, but the idea of reflection beyond the surface is difficult to comprehend and overwhelming. I have accomplished a lot, met many, done much, and seen a lot and much; and yet I have underachieved, done little, and not seen anywhere and anyone as much as I could, should, and wanted to have. Time is vast: the world is enormous and huge, and the planet is filled with countless people on an individual level of consciousness. I have traveled hundreds of thousands of miles, encountered millions of people, talked to tens of thousands, became acquainted with thousands, befriended hundreds, and developed both short and long rich special relationships with dozens. Life has changed markedly with change the constant element. We have lost much and gained much. I, too, have lost much and gained much over my life. Is it all it was meant to be or could have been ? No, but it could have been worse and then some. I am fortunate to have been born in a society and of parents that nurtured , cared for me, and prepared me as best as they could for the world out there that awaited me; and I had opportunites over time to further myself and develop a consciousness and knowledge. I may not have much compared to some, but I have more than most.
-I am grateful for everything and everyone that has come my way and crossed my path, and often wish some of that and those no longer part of my life could be still to this day. But change is eternal for most of what makes up our lives. I have my siblings and their families although not on an immediate and close basis; friends largely on the periphery overall; material possessions and assets, some of which date back decades but still are cherished; and years of knowledge and understanding which enable me to grasp my environment and the question, "what's it all about ?" on at least a minimal level. Life for me may not be complete and it surely has had its disappointments, setbacks, tragedies, and misfortune; but I am better off than many, if not most. Entering a second half century of life will not change me inexorably, but with time greater maturity, insight, and wisdom will inevitably occur if one is alive and has a consciousness. Time, however, does grow short; there is absolutely no question when one passes age 50 they are in the second half of their life, and probably somewhere in the fourth quarter of this game we live and play in every day. I still have much I want to do, accomplish, experience, witness, see, understand, and enjoy. Some will be of a repetitive nature; others will be all new. Where I am at now is completely different than five years ago, ten years, ago, fifteen years ago, twenty years ago, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. Like life itself in general and specifically, my own personal life has been and will continue to be one of change and movement with little stability and no real "rock of ground" that holds me and I hold on to. Beyond my family; some friends; my interests, pastimes, and hobbies; and material possesssions I have always lacked stability and a restraining limiting structure that I am compelled to be within literally and figuratively. In many ways, I have truly known and experienced freedom.
While certain periods of time and circumstances have been more challenging and trying than others, I have always managed to keep my head above water and not drowned from the torrents of life. Now that I have made it this far, in some ways it will be easier to continue to just that; but in other ways it will be of a far greater challenge. Opportunities and obstacles await me as they do for all, and I am somewhat confident of my abilities and strengths to ride out the storms as they come. My mind is as almost keen and alert as it ever has been for the most part, but my body has peaked and is in decline. One of the most paramount challenges is to slow and minimize that decline and extend it for as long as possible over time. Of all the challenges and obstacles I have encountered; succeeded at; and failed at; this is probably the greatest one I have ever matched up against. Only time will tell, like with everything, how successful and fully I overcome and master this preeminent looming potential ordeal. But I will continue to have fun, enjoy, learn, experience, experiment, and reflect on everything else as time for me and everyone else continues to go by. The older one gets, the more life takes away from you and the less it gives you. Hopefully there will be some balance of satisfaction, success, and joy in the future along with the inevitable tragedies, challenges, setbacks, reversals, and defeats. My future is here whether I am ready for it or not.
-"Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana." -- Groucho Marx-*****
After some thought, I consider these among the Ten Greatest Moments in my long or short life so far ( in no particular order or not in significance):
Posts
