Getting Slowly Crunched in May

I have not shared anything about my life on this blog in weeks, because, quite frankly, things are going very poorly and I am on the precipice of a world of hurt. Thing are getting increasingly grim as my unemployment goes past its fifth month this week.

Returning to my factory job looks to be a non-possibility for the time being, and perhaps even beyond the short term. I would not be surprised if I never get called back. I talked on the phone to the Personnel Manager last week and she painted a dreary picture. At this time the factory is running only one part time shift. The factory was closed for the first three months this year, re-opening the week before Easter and then closing for a full week the third week in April. The current staffing is about 20 % of what it was last summer and autumn when I was working. The work crew now only works 3 days a week and gets 24 hours with a four day weekend every week so far. She told me production demand is dismal and not projected to improve in the coming weeks. So there is little if anything optimistic about my most recent employment re-emerging.

Since the first of the year I have submitted around 20 -25 applications with resumes online to various businesses advertising for help that I found either in the paper or on internet job sites, but I have had no response to any submission. And the opportunities that I am finding are becoming fewer and fewer in the last few months. The economy here like everywhere else is frozen up and not offering many openings for those looking for work. I have only found about 2 -3 jobs to apply for in the last couple of weeks.

Well, that was depressing enough, but it only gets worse. My nest egg I built up lasted about what I thought it would: until around 1 May. I am basically out of money. I hope to find something to be able to pay May utilities (about $225) as well as pay for the next round of groceries. I am okay on food for most of the rest of the month, but I will have to replenish my stock around 1 June which will take about another $65 being careful and conservative with my choices to make it stretch a month. And then I have no money for rent for June which is very troubling. To say things are bad is an understatement. There is a big pack of wolves assembling to be at the door very soon.

All that being said, life has been quite boring and routine in recent weeks. Without transportation (both a blessing and an onus) it is difficult to get out. I stopped going to DQ about a month ago, and have spent money only on milk and bread in the last month. I spend most of my days on the internet and half-heartedly watching tv and listening to the radio or CDs. I only eat twice a day to keep the food supply from running out any sooner. I am drinking lots and lots of water to help keep any hunger pangs down. As a result, my weight has dropped to 247 lbs. This is the lowest that I have been at been since Autumn '03 when I had West Nile Virus and my weight plunged from around 300 lbs down to 233 lbs at the low point in about 2 1/2 to 3 months. Not that that was a bad thing. I have never returned to the weight I was before that sickness, as I probably peaked in the high 270s in the past few years. And being down to 247 lbs. is also a good thing. I think some of this is also due to not eating bad foods filled with sodium and fats as can be easily done when one is in a hurry and not be careful about where they are eating at. I expect to continue to slowly lose weight in the coming years as I age further into my 50s. At some point I very well may get down to around 210 to 220 which is ideal for my height and body style.

At least my connections with the outside world are very good to excellent. I talk with each of my three sisters a couple of times a month; and about the same with my youngest brother. I talk to my friend Matt who is in Denver several times a week via the phone, email, or text; and I have talked to and seen Brant about four to five times in the last month after not having any contact since before Thanksgiving. Contact with Todd has been scare however as I have only seen him twice or thrice since the Super Bowl.

Inside my apartment I am at about 95 % as being organized as I want to be, although getting the recycling out is long overdue. There are still a number of projects that need to be completed: such as finding vacuum cleaner bags for my two vacuums ( an upright Royal Dirtbuster and a handheld Dirt Devil); and getting the garage project done. After putting that off for a long time, I am looking to tackle that with the cold weather all but over with for the next 4-5 months.

I also want to print some pictures up from images I have collected on the internet of family members and their offspring, but I will hold off on that until I can buy some extra inkjet printer cartridges for my printer so I don't run out.

One of these days I will get my 36" Curtis Mathes TV fixed. There is a place here in town that will do it, but two obstacles exist: Having a $95 deposit on hand to start the repair, and physically getting the TV over to that shop which is about 3 miles away. Climbing down a flight of wooden stairs carrying a 250 lb hulking set is a two man job that has been difficult to coordinate. I will have to make a greater effort to get that accomplished later this year.

And then there is The White Knight. It has sat for over two months now without being moved. At some point I would like to conclusively find out what is wrong with it, but I need to have funds and time to get it to a shop to get a diagnosis made. I think right now its the worst case scenario -- the transmission -- but I could be wrong and I need to find out for sure. Another challenge -- coming up with replacement transportation in all likelihood. There are vehicles for sale here under $2000, but that may be completely unrealistic given my circumstances and unlikely prosperous near future. Any job I get will not pay enough to even consider getting another truck anytime soon if ever here in Cheyenne. I may end walking alot more than I imagine. That conversation about weight loss on my part may be understated. Walking may result in me dropping below 200 lbs in a matter of several months in the upcoming heat and then the returning cold this next autumn and winter. Not a pleasant prospect.

As for leaving Cheyenne, I have all but given up hope of being able to do that anytime in 2009. Even if my own circumstances were more ideal, relocating cold in the middle of the worse economic downturn in recent memory at my age is a recipe for disaster. It is probably much more logical and reasonable to wait things out for at least one year and maybe two or three until the time is much more right. And by then I may be able to be in a really good circumstance and better prepared for that immense challenge that would await me. I also very well could skip moving back to Colorado as is my plans at this time, and instead make the final move to a warm climate in the Southwest, or, as my sister has asked me to consider, the Houston TX area. That is a big step for me to contemplate. There are both positives and negatives to consider, and such a decision must be pondered and weighed carefully and not taken haphazardly. Only time will tell whether I decide to make such a profound jump.

Anyway, enough rambling. I have gotten to watch a lot of the NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs and the first five weeks of the baseball season which has been enjoyable. The days are now long (on a par with early August now as the Summer Solstice is now but six weeks away. So I get to see a lot of more daylight and I open the curtains and blinds as often as possible unless it is gloomy outdoors which has been the case more often than not the last seven weeks. It is supposed to climb to the upper 70s on Tuesday which means I get to open up the windows and door and let some ventilation in to keep the unit from getting stuffy. The space heater is about to be put away until at least late September and probably October to be replaced by my set of fans to provide air movement in the coming warmer months. The heat has already been turned off since late April and I have survive the last two cool weeks without it except for the space heater on occasion.

Trees and shrubs have come into bloom in the last week or so, and the bigger and more older trees are probably about to do the same in the next week or so. The long hard cold interminably windy winter is now over. Hopefully my disposition and mood can remain sunny and upbeat in spite of my challenges and likely looming hardship. They say life isn't easy, but sometimes it is worse than hard -- it downright stinks and sucks.

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